Hold on to your Rolaids! The average person will consume some 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat this Thanksgiving Day. Which makes getting into your skinny jeans the day after pretty damn impossible. Nothing wrong with staying in your PJs all day, but if you have to hit the sales (BTW, jammies are completely appropriate attire if you’re going to Walmart–trust us, we’ve checked; you might actually even be overdressed), visit some relatives or go to a football game, you may need something that’s a little more presentable but still figure-forgiving. And that’s where our utterly soft, comfy tees come in. They’re like sweatpants for your upper body! So hide that muffin top with fashion and flair. We’ve chosen 3 shirts to stretch over your belly this Fat Friday.
1. “Dear Lord, If You Can’t Make Me Skinny, Please Make My Friends Fat..” Helloooo–did you hear what we said about 4,500 calories and 229 grams of fat? We’re bettin’ even Miley Cyrus will have a wrecking-ball shape today.
2. “Fat People Are Hard to Kidnap.” Yay–now your friends and family can spend the potential ransom money on Black Friday sales.
3. “If a Fat Girl Falls in the Forest and No One Is There to See It … Do the Trees Laugh?” Probably. Sympathy doesn’t grow on trees, you know.