In what has now been described as the worst winter in 10 years, the National Oceanic Atmosphere Administration reports that there is snow on the ground in 49 of 50 states. Only Florida (where we are typing at this moment, but don’t hate us–ever been to Tampa in July? Enough said!) is snow-free. Yep, that means there is snow in the mountains of Hawaii and in the deltas of Louisiana right at this very moment. Which got us to thinking: Mother Nature must truly be having some kind of ‘roid rage to be waging such a fierce winter. If she could pick out any Roadkill tshirt, what do you think she’d choose? Given her other-worldly display of strength and stamina, we have some ideas, and they include:
1. You can’t process me with a normal brain.
2. Trust me. As you get to know me I just get weirder.
3. People say I have a bad attitude, but I say fuck’em.
4. I’m sorry. Was it my job to fill your life with joy today?
5. I just awesomed all over the place.
Hey Mother Nature, we know you truly are a force beyond all control. But turn down the torque, will ya?