10. White trash. Nothing says trailer park louder than a mullet. Our “I love mullets” tshirt is an obvious choice, but don’t overlook our many cheers-to-beer shirts too.
9. Pirate. An eye patch, earring, bandana and tshirt stating “Drink rum. It fights scurvy and boosts morale” is all you need matey. A parrot on your shoulder would be great, too.
8. Zoombie. Whether you want to be the zoombie or the zoombie bait, we have plenty of gory tshirts to choose from.
7. Old Person. Yes, the elderly get their fair share of abuse here at Roadkill. Grab your cane, gray wig and a shirt announcing, “I’m so old I fart dust” or “Support bingo. Keep Grandma off the streets.”
6. Alex Rodriguez. All you need is a bat and our “Steroids” Yankee shirt. Done! Just like A-Roid. It’s a home run!
5. Preggo. There’s something naturally funny about shoving a pillow up a shirt and pretending you’re pregnant. It’s even funnier if you’re a guy. Add our “One in the oven” tshirt and there will be no mistaking that you’re portraying a pregnant woman, not a fat one.
4. Charlie Sheen. You only need three props: A blonde (or two), a bottle of booze and our tshirt that says, “You can’t process me with a normal mind.”
3. Storm Trooper. Grab your light saber and our “May the 4th be with you” shirt.
2. Cousin Eddie. All you need is a bathrobe, a racoon hat, a Meister Brau, some bits of hose and a shirt that says “Shitters full.” Everyone will get it.
1. George Costanza. Are you short, bald and paunchy? Do you wear glasses? Are you kind of a loser, sad-sack type who may or may not have shrinkage after swimming? Look no further for an awesome Halloween costume! Just slip on your best sweatpants and our “Festivus for the rest of us” or “Vandelay Industries” shirt. Hey, it’s not a lie if you believe it!