Two things in life should never run dry: The keg and your stockpile of hilarious Roadkill tshirts. We can’t help with the first item, but we can make sure you’re never wanting for a new, hip and hysterical tee. Here, 6 of our latest and greatest:
1. If I’m ever on life support unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.
2. My idea of a Happy Meal is a bottle of vodka, 2 Xanax and a cookie.
3. I used to have super powers but my psychiatrist took them away.
4. Treat people as you would like to be treated. Karma’s only a bitch if you are.
5. Dear Alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer…I saw the video…WE NEED TO TALK.
6. I was addicted to the hokey pokey. But then I turned myself around.