Ok, it’s official. If ever there is to be an attack of the undead, the U.S. Department of Defense has everything covered. “Counter Zombie Dominance,” as the DOD manual is called, spells out all the logistics of how to save the world from various types of dead flesh eaters (from vegetarian ones who pose no threat to us meaty humans to chicken zombies, whom, the report says, are the only “official class of zombies.” Well, phewy!!!). The report actually includes a disclaimer saying the plan was not a joke, so we know it’s real. While we have complete faith in the lifesaving capabilities of the DOD, it can’t hurt to play it safe. Here, 5 shirts to ward off the zombies:
1. Zombie response team: Kill or be eaten.
2. Zombie repellent.
3. How to kill a zombie.
4. U.S. Zombie Hunting Permit.
5. Welcome to Woodbury, Georgia, a zombie-free community.