Whoa now, we know that’s a bold statement, but hear us out:
1. Our shirts never run out. Kegs run dry. Bottles get emptied. Cans get crushed. Our shirts will stay on your back, in your drawer, balled up under your bed, for a long time to come.
2. They never go flat. Come on, “I’m not a proctologist but I do know an asshole when I see one” just never loses its zing.
3. They’ll get you noticed by the ladies. Stand around a bar with a pint glass and you’ll look like any other guy there. Stand around a bar with a “I brought sexy back” or “Orgasm Donor” shirt, and you’re bound to get some attention.
4. They won’t give you hangovers. Yep, our shirts might make you feel heady, but definitely not headachy!