November 28 is Thanksgivukkah! 3 Tshirts Perfect for the Occasion

Get out the menurkeys! Thursday, November 28, is the once-in-a-lifetime convergence of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah–really, the last time this happened was 1888. It’s a super-sized holiday full of challah stuffing, Maneschewitz brined turkey and potato latkes with cranberry sauce. Oh, and, of course, crazy family members looking for a free meal and a Hanukkah present. Celebrate the occasion with a new tshirt–either to wear or to give. May we suggest …

1. “My family is tempermental. Half temper, half mental.”

2. “If you met my family, you would understand.”

3. “I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.”

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Jillian Michaels Pulls a Fast One

Oh Jillian, if A-Rod can’t get away with it, why did you think you would? No, we’re not talking steriods here, but we are talking something almost as bad. Seems as though Michaels, a trainer on the hit reality show the Biggest Loser, slipped some contestants metabolism-revving caffeine supplements. Which–really big shocker here–is against the rules. The little ploy (and some in Hollywood do consider it a ploy) allowed popular-and-plus-sized Ruben Studdard, a winner of American Idol, to return to the show, as the previous week’s weigh-in results were deemed null and void. Jillian, this is VERY not phat. Next time, just play fair and jog your team over to Starbucks for a Venti  iced espresso.

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5 Funny, Festive Shirts to Beat Holiday Depression

An estimated 20 percent of Americans suffer from holiday depression. Hustle and bustle spells stress. Opening your wallet 600 times adds more stress. Top everything off with some of Aunt Bittie’s choke-worthy fruit cake and an ugly Christmas sweater, and, well, we can see why you might not want to get out of bed till the spring. But by God, take back some joy! Here, 5 holiday shirts sure to make you smile:

1. “The Main Reason Santa Is So Jolly Is Because He Knows Where All the Bad Girls Live.” Leave him some cookies and he might share his address book.

2. “Sit on My Lap to Get Your Present.” Wrap it or don’t.

3. “Even Santa Enjoys a Little Porn.” Let’s hope elves aren’t involved.

4. “Three Wise Men. You Can’t Be Serious!” One we might believe, but three? Odds are against it.

5. “I Don’t Know What to Say Except It’s Christmas and We’re All in Misery.” So true, it’s actually really funny.

 

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4 Screwball Shirts to Wear for the World Series

Hey, don’t drop the ball when it comes to great World Series attire. Whether you’re a Boston Red Sox or St. Louis Cardinals fan, you’ll be batting a thousand in any one of these fun baseball tees. Don’t get caught looking–pick one up today!

1. “Jesus Hates the Yankees”

2. “All County Mailbox Baseball Champion”

3. “Baseball Is Wrong. Man With Four Balls Cannot Walk.”

4. “Your team sucks.”

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3 Reasons Why Our Tshirts Are the Perfect Thanksgiving Day Attire

It’s Thanksgiving. Some people like to talk turkey but we’re gonna talk tees–and why they make the perfect thing to wear when you’re eating your body weight in stuffing and pumpkin pie.

1. They expand. Second helping? No problem. Third? Go for it! jukOur 100-percent cotton shirts will accommodate your burgeoning belly.

2. They hide gravy stains. Just make sure you choose a darker color. I mean, brown looks awesome with turkey gravy.

3. They can shut up Uncle Mel. “Ask me about my explosive diarrhea” is sure to leave the old guy speechless–and we know you’ve been waiting for that moment for a long time.

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Sox and Shirts: 6 Tees with Swagger

Looking a lot like gnomes, the Boston Red Sox clinched the World Series title–the first time since 1918 and the Babe Ruth era that the series was won at Fenway Park. We couldn’t be happier for a team and a city that saw their fair share of suffering. Congratulations men with red stockings–you’ve earned some bragging rights!  And we have just the right shirts to wear for the ticker tape parade:

1. Beards. They grow on you.

2. Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

3. I rule.

4. I piss excellence.

5. I’m what Willis was talking about.

6. Jesus hates the Yankees.

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What Does the Fox Say?

Hmmm. Not anything we really pondered before, but we’re pretty sure Ylvis, the Norwegian band with the hit song “What does the fox say?” was on drugs when they were thinking about it. Fraka-kaka-kaka-kow? Really? Howdoyousayiaminsaneandtrippingonlsd? Ha! And the fox is the one who is supposed to be crazy.  Get your what does the fox say t shirt here

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A Bazillion Fun Math Shirts! JK–more like 5

Hey, interesting fact: 2013 is the International Year of Statistics. And while we don’t have 365 math-loving shirts to wear for every day of this numerically wondrous year, we do have a few. Stand up and be counted! Show your math pride with these fun shirts:

1. “333. Only half evil.” Better to be half evil and know your division, then to be fully evil and be a math moron.

2. “6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.” Wow, that’s a sad ratio.

3. “There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who are good at math and those who aren’t.”  That’s two funny.

4. “Well, another day has passed and I didn’t use algebra once.” Hmmm. wonder y?

5. “Three out of four voices in my head want to sleep. The other wants to know if penguins have knees.” Good question fourth voice. When the other three wake up, let’s get them to weigh in.

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True That! 12 Roadkill Tshirts You Just Can’t Argue With

We’re not always completely flip and comical here at Roadkill and Bad Idea Tshirts. Sometimes we speak the simple truth.  Here, 12 funny shirts you just gotta see the logic in:

1. “Don’t hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.”

2. “Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power.”

3. “Fat people are hard to kidnap!”

4. “Some days it’s just not worth chewing through the restraints.”

5. “Don’t trust anything that bleeds for a week and does not DIE!”

6. “Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.”

7. “Guns don’t kill people. It’s mostly the bullets.”

8.”The first forty years of childhood are the hardest.”

9. “Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”

10. “Some people are like Slinkies. They’re not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.”

11. “You can’t fix stupid.”

12. “Youth and talent are no match for age and treachery.

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Celebrate National Sarcasm Month!

We’re halfway into October and we just found out it’s National Sarcasm Month! Like, could they have kept it any more secret?  Whatever. We’re still stoked. I mean really, as if eating our body weight in Skittles and donning hockey masks and chainsaws and scaring young children weren’t enough of a reason to love October! Now we have National Sarcasm Month! And as luck would have it, Roadkill/Bad Idea have lots of clever tshirts that will help you pay homage to this month of sharp and cutting humor. Some of our favorites?

1. Sarcasm. Because beating the crap out of people is illegal.

2. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

3. National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support.

4. Sarcasm: The body’s natural defense against stupidity.

5. I’m proficient in 3 languages…English, sarcasm and profanity.

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