Okay, with just a few exceptions, we know professional athletes are known more for their brawn than their brains. But we assumed the front office people had a little more on the ball (to use a pun–see, we smart!). But apparently we were wrong. And the dumbest of the bunch may be the Colorado Rockies. In a recent t-shirt giveaway, the Rockies spelled the name of their ace shortstop Troy Tulowitzki wrong, omitting the t. Epic fail!
No doubt you were glued to your TV last night, watching the sick masterpiece that is Sharknado 2. Ian Ziering was brilliant in his badness. In this two-hour epic cinematic fail, it’s hard to pick out just a few favorite moments. But here’s what we’ve managed to come up:
1. Chris Young hitting a home run for the Mets. Young’s batting average is .209. Which makes an actual Sharknado more likely than him hitting a home run.
2. Fin nearly busting a blood vessel trying to land a plane. He looked like what we imagine a mouse might look like trying to eliminate an elephant from its intestinal tract. The plane had holes, as evidenced by the dangling-yet-darling Tara Reid, but we assume it still had brakes.
3. The head of Lady Liberty rolling through Manhattan, impaling a man and then smashing into the entrance of the Lincoln Tunnel. We love the filmmakers subtle juxtapositioning of being trapped by a symbol of freedom. Deep.
4. Al Roker giving us a very realistic weather forecast of “Sharks falling at a rate of 2 inches per hour.” Too late for the salt trucks. Send out the plows.
5. Finn’s heroic retrieval of April’s arm and his subsequent re-proposal. We love a happy ending.
There is creative genius lurking in the walls of Roadkill T-shirts, and to prove it we’ve come up with 3 new hysterical t-shirt designs. Get ’em while you can!
Well, I just finished my FREE watermelon punch Slurpee, courtesy of 7-Eleven. This being 7/11 and all, the store decided to go all out and give away the sweet, frozen confection that made it famous. And with it being only slightly cooler than hell here, it was a welcome treat. All that frosty sweetness cut a cool path down my throat. The only thing better? Adding a shot or two of vodka and sipping it on a beach under an umbrella. Hmmm…we may be on to something here.
Been to the beach lately? If so then you know there are two types of bodies out there. Bangin’ and Beluga-whale-big. There truly is very little in between, unless you’re about 10 years old. And, of course, the Beluga-whale-big bodies think they are really bangin’ bodies, perhaps with a slight layer of insulation. No matter, the bikinis still come out, and you will be glad when the noon day sun scorches your eyeballs. But this is where Roadkill T-shirts come in. Covering up that bulge, that flaw, that pooch has never been easier or more stylish. Hey, we’re all for keeping it real. And covered.
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words—which is why we have tons of tees plastered with the smug mugs of everyone from Bush to Buckwheat. These tees are positively picture perfect!