Berlin police were called recently to a large stone sculpture of a vagina. There they found a young American (yes, it always has to be an American) exchange student caught in, er, the great divide. Yep. He went there. He was stuck in the snake charmer, wedged in the wand waxer, pinned in the pushin’ cushion. You may call him stupid, juvenile, maybe even, well, cunning. We’ll just call him f@#%ed.
June 21 is the longest day of the year, which makes it the favorite day of everyone getting an hourly wage!
Will Ferrell, one of the great comedic geniuses of our generation, is finally being given a Hollywood Walk of Fame star. So as he puts his hands in cement, you should put your arms through one of our 100 percent cotton Gildan tshirts that celebrate his work.
1. You’re my boy Blue (Old School).
2. Stay classy, San Diego (Anchorman).
3. I want to be formal, but I’m here to party (Talladega Nights).
4. I’m kind of a big deal (Anchorman).
5. Frank the tank (Old School).
6. Boats n’ Hoes (Step Brothers).
7. Shake ‘n Bake (Talladega Nights).
8. I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch (Anchorman).
Hey, the Fourth of July isn’t all about fireworks and flags, hot dogs and cold beers. It’s about paying homage to our founding fathers who valued freedom and democracy and inalienable rights (cue the national anthem, please). So if you’re proud to be an American, give it up for Ben and Thomas and even Abe, although he was a hundred or so years after the Revolution, but you get our drift. These dudes had a clue!
1. A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it away.
2. What do you mean press one for English?
3. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Truth Ben! This is why you’re my favorite Founding Father.)
4. Be excellent to each other.
It’s the 25th anniversary of the iconic baseball movie “Field of Dreams” and we have the perfect shirt for celebrating. If the long-dead Shoeless Joe Jackson and an errant father can show up in a movie, we’re pretty sure a keg can bring lots of unexpected people out of the woodwork. Drink up and play ball!
It’s Friday the 13th, and you know what that means. Black cats, ladders and calamities of all sorts are lurking around every corner. Never fear, Roadkill is here with the maloccio. Ward off the evil spirits and dangerous encounters with these xx shirts that are sure to bring you luck and well being.
1. Lucky Charm.
2. Beast Mode: On
3. Lucky Dog Saloon. Liquor Up Front, Poker in the Back.
Calling all Cristiano Ronaldo, David Beckham and Pele wanna-bes: Even if you can’t kick worth a lick, you can still look pretty kick-ass in our tshirts that celebrate (er, sort of) the world’s pastime, soccer—and just in time for the start of the World Cup!
1. I’m here to kick ass.
2. If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball.
This Sunday, June 15, is Father’s Day. So break out the brats, chill the beer and quiet the lawn mower for this day of dad devotion. Your old man will be rockin’ the couch, the Lazy-Boy and the backyard hammock in these dad-is-rad shirts:
Seventy years ago troops stormed the shores of Normandy and turned the tide of WWII. Some 2,500 American servicemen died that day. Honor their memory with some of these flag-waving Roadkill tees:
1. Back to Back World War Champs.
2. America. Fuck Yeah!
3. If you can read, thank a teacher. If you can read in English, thank a marine.