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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me

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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes. People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.

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My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting. My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting.

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How Sarcasm Is Made. Step One. Ask Me A Question. How Sarcasm Is Made. Step One. Ask Me A Question.

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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister

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I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing

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I'm Sorry If I Offended You WIth My Common Sense I'm Sorry If I Offended You WIth My Common Sense

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A Day Without Coffee Is Like... Just Kidding, I Have No Idea. A Day Without Coffee Is Like... Just Kidding, I Have No Idea.

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Four Twenty Clock Four Twenty Clock

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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Brother My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Brother

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Once Upon A time I Didn't Care Still Don't The End Once Upon A time I Didn't Care Still Don't The End

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Nothing Is Really Lost Until Your Wife Can't Find It Nothing Is Really Lost Until Your Wife Can't Find It

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Due To Personal Reasons I'll Be Drinking Again This Weekend Due To Personal Reasons I'll Be Drinking Again This Weekend

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Social Distancing Champion Social Distancing Champion

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I Wonder If Beer Thinks About Me Too..? I Wonder If Beer Thinks About Me Too..?

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You All Realize I'm Going to Snap One Day Right You All Realize I'm Going to Snap One Day Right

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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs. You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.

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Algebra Stop Asking Us To Find Your X She's Never Coming Back Don't Ask Y Algebra Stop Asking Us To Find Your X She's Never Coming Back Don't Ask Y

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Reason To Vote For Democrats Reason To Vote For Democrats

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If I Can't Bring My Dog I'm Not Going If I Can't Bring My Dog I'm Not Going

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People Not A Big Fan People Not A Big Fan

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You Don't Do Stupid Things While Young You'll Have Nothing To Smile About When Old You Don't Do Stupid Things While Young You'll Have Nothing To Smile About When Old

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This Is Only A Drill This Is Only A Drill

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Come To The Math Side We Have Pi Come To The Math Side We Have Pi

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I Nap Periodically I Nap Periodically

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He He He Laughing Gas He He He Laughing Gas

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Weed Smile Face Weed Smile Face

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I Work So My Dog Can Have A Better Life I Work So My Dog Can Have A Better Life

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First I Drink The Coffee Then I Do The Things First I Drink The Coffee Then I Do The Things

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I May Not be Perfect But At Least I'm Not a Democrat I May Not be Perfect But At Least I'm Not a Democrat

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National Apathy Society. Become A Member...Or Don't. We Couldn't Care Less National Apathy Society. Become A Member...Or Don't. We Couldn't Care Less

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Every Great Mom Says The "F" Word Every Great Mom Says The "F" Word

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How To Avoid Stress At Work. Don't Go To Work How To Avoid Stress At Work. Don't Go To Work

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Tell Your Dog I Said Hi Tell Your Dog I Said Hi

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The Police Never Think It's As Funny As You. The Police Never Think It's As Funny As You.

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Never Thought I'd Be The Kind Of Person Who'd Wake Up To Exercise And I Was Right Never Thought I'd Be The Kind Of Person Who'd Wake Up To Exercise And I Was Right

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