What We Have to Offer You
Get Your Smile On!
We find humor in just about anything! Hey, we’re not thirteen and we still chuckle at the words boobie, blow and beaver! But our minds aren’t always in the gutter; Sometimes they’re in the toilet. You gotta admit, you’d smile if you saw someone wearing an “Ask Me About My Explosive Diarrhea” t-shirt. It’s gross--but in a genius kind of way.
No joke, our t-shirts have the right stuff. They’re made of 100 percent pre-shrunk cotton (go ahead, wash and dry to your heart’s content!) with professionally screened text and images. Yes, there are some professionals who work here.
We counted, and we have over a thousand funny shirts to choose from. One (if not all of them) are bound to make you laugh.
All kidding aside, we want you to be happy with your shirts and your Roadkill shopping experience. If you’re not satisfied, let us know. Exchanges and refunds are no laughing matter to us.
Hey, a smile never killed anyone. Wear one of our shirts and spread some joy! It’s been said that a good sense of humor will get you anywhere. And we have all the amusing, outrageous, offensive t-shirts to wear on the journey.
Looking for comical designs? We’ve got you covered. Nothing screams Ritalin like: “AD/HD...Highway to Hey Look a Squirrel!” Looking for something edgier? How about “I’d Tell You to Go to Hell, but I Work There and Don’t Want to See You Every Day.” Not your style? Is the offensive, politically incorrect shirt more to your liking? Road Kill has your back with designs touting bitch, balls, boobs and more!
Nobody does rude like us. Be it balls or beavers, smart asses or dumb shits, we have all the shirts you’ll ever need to land you in bed with that hot babe you've always wanted; Or behind bars with a rap sheet. There are some days when you just gotta wonder out loud: “I Shaved My Balls for This?” Then there are other days when you’re feeling all Charlie Sheen-ish and you wanna shout, “I Wasn’t Born with Enough Middle Fingers to Let You Know How I Feel.” Sure, your mom may blush. But she’ll be soooo proud when she sees you wearing our “I Promise I’m a Doctor” shirt.
Bottom of the page-So you made it past all the designs and are now really text at the bottom of our page. Well, this is all about our shirts, what we have and the fun you could have when wearing one. Questions can be answered under FAQs. We have been in business for almost 10 years and have one of the largest selections on the web. We also offer one of the best discounts out there. Our shirts aren't cheap, just VERY LOW priced.
Why can’t clothes be functional and funny? Since you have to wear them anyway (Tatum Channing, we’ll give you a pass), you might as well make someone laugh doing it. We have hundreds of comical, amusing t-shirts to choose from. Sure, a lot of them are borderline rude - “I’m Not a Proctologist But I Know an Asshole When I See One” might earn you a kick in the butt from some. But a few are even clean enough for church. “God Is Great Beer Is Good People Are Crazy” shows the whole congregation, for example, that you have your priorities straight. We have hundreds of cheap shirts; We mean that literally, most are uner 20 bucks! Not bad for a cheap laugh, eh?
Whether you’re into chick flicks or the cult classics, we’ve got you covered when it comes to tees highlighting some of Hollywood’s most brilliant moments. Randy Quaid may not have won an academy award for his role in Christmas Vacation, but give Cousin Eddie his due by sporting our hilarious “Shitter’s Full” t-shirt. Got a friend who is always MIA? What could be a more approriate gift than a “Bueller ? Bueller? Bueller?” shirt? But hey, it’s not all fun and games here at Road Kill. From aliens to zombies, we’ve got scary shirts that warn “Paddle Faster. I Hear Banjos” and “I Like Turtles.” We haven’t forgotten those awesome sitcoms either. Be it How I Met Your Mother’s famous line “I Just Awesomed All Over the Place” or Seinfeld’s made-up holiday “Festivus for the Rest of Us,” we’ve turned some of TV’s funniest lines into the funniest t shirts!
Every woman has a little Lindsay-Lohan-on-a-bender in her. And when the urge strikes, we have just what you need to wear. “Everyone Loves a Drunk Chick” and “Guess Where I’m Pierced?” will get you noticed faster than Amanda Bynes with a shaved head. Channel your inner Paris Hilton with “Buy Me Things and I’ll Be Nicer.” And we gotta believe that if Kim Kardashian could have her pick of all our shirts, she would choose “Have You Ever Wondered If There Was More to Life Than Being Really, Really, Ridiculously Good Looking?” That’s deep Kim. You might need to ask your mom Kris Jenner for help.
Now it’s time to get dirty with our offensive shirts. If you agree that “mean people suck and nice people swallow” then you’ve cum to the right section. This section will have you laughing your ass off especially if you “love being a prick” and would rather be a “smart ass than a dumb shit”. Every man can appreciate a good blow job and it may be “The only job you’ll ever love”. But the offensive selection isn’t just about your gigantic cock, it’s got racial jokes that will crack you up like “Immigrants are like sperm, millions get in, but only one works” and “I’m not a racist, I hate everyone equally”. So sit back, grab yourself and enjoy some fucking funny shirts! The sibling to the funny category as well as the bastard from the other marriage. These shirts will shock and appall if you're in a stiff crowd or get you laid if you go to college. "ASS The Other Vagina" will get you many praises from your bros and will attract the right girl for you, well until she sleeps with your bud next week, but it's whatevs! Also located in this category is the infamous Penis shirt that you will need to see to believe; *Note: Penis shirt works best if you are as big or bigger than penis on shirt.
What's the name of the game! THUMPER! Why do we play! To get fucked up! Real partying (not that corporate mess) includes three things: Beer, Bitches, and Bros, in that order. We have just the thing to make your night of drunken debauchery even better, a tee shirt that tells everyone of your plan for drunken debauchery, and if that's not enough for you then perhaps you need another drink. Cheers!
You know that discussing politics is the quickest way to lose friends and make enemies. So keep your mouth shut and let us do the talking for you. Wearing our “Annoy a Liberal. Get a Job” shirt let’s the world know which way your vote swings without ever having to flash your voter registration card. Think there should be tougher immigration laws? Let your legislators (and the world) know with our “Don’t Forget to Pay Your Taxes. 12 Million Illegal Aliens Depend on You.” t-shirt. Sometimes no matter whose controlling Congress, things are clear a mess. That’s when our “I Don’t Need Sex. The Government Fucks Me Every Day” design is the only real option.
No need to fret over what to wear to the neighborhood Halloween party. Our “Just Give Me the Damn Candy” design tells ‘em you’re there for the chocolate, not the inane chit-chat. And why should the department-store Santas have all the fun? How about an “I’m Not Santa But You Can Sit in My Lap” shirt? It's a surefire way to spread some holiday cheer (but hopefully not any holiday chlamydia). Everyone needs some new duds for the holidays and no matter what you’re celebrating (Festivus anyone?), we have a shirt that fits. So buy them for yourself. Or buy them for gifts. Just buy ‘em!
What do you think of when you think of the word novel? Very good if you said Kurt Vonnegut or Tom Wolfe. But bring the brain down a notch. We’re thinking stuff like weird, unusual, supremely creative and clever (no disrespect Kurt and Tom). Really, all our shirts fit this category, so it’s hard pulling out just a few. But how about the ones that make you use your noggin a little? I mean, it takes more than just average intelligence to get the jokes in our “May the 4th Be with You” or “My Pen Is Huge” or “Grab Your Balls We’re Going Bowling” tees. So go ahead and be novel. Don’t just read one.
Got a mini me? We have awesome designs for your spawn! While not all our shirts are appropriate for the wee ones (yes, we do have some morals), plenty are. Bodily functions are always good for a laugh and who can resist a little ankle-biter wearing an “I Pooped Today!” shirt. Makes you want to squeeze ‘em. Don’t have the most well-behaved kid on the block? Do society a favor and give us all a warning. No one wants to be stuck in a long grocery-store line next to a kid wearing “Ask Me About My Ability to Annoy Complete Strangers” or “I Should Come with a Warning Label” shirt. And your kid is sure to win over enemies (think all those humorless grade-school teachers) with this shirt that highlights some of his top-notch vocabulary skills: “Immature: A Word Boring People Use to Describe Fun People.” We have youth sizes from small to extra large, so get’em suited up!
The world is has evolved into one big on demand service. What consumers want, when they want, and how they want it is the basis for business models now and moving forward. There are apps for your phone, content for your TV, wireless devices that can connect to everything else and more! Well here at Road Kill we have taken this approach to funny t-shirts. First and foremost we have a wide selection of designs that will get you ready for the day; but aside from that, our shirts can be customized to the exact look and feel of your style. We offer Men's and Women's styles, and also a Hoodie option. On top of that each style has different cuts that will go well with any outfit, from simply wearing it as is to layering it as a tank top, you can't go wrong with us. However, just allowing you to pick the cut of your shirt wasn't enough…no that would be letting you off too easy! Once you've selected your style, then it's on to size. From youth-small to 10XLarge and everything in between is available for any body type, because we don't judge like the rest of the world. And then, after that, you are able to add color, the spice of life…or something like that, to your shirt. So how's that for on demand and individual style?
Help us help you. If you like our designs, and consequently if you like us, then spread the word. Like us on facebook, reference us on twitter, mention us in your blogs and we will do our part to do the same for you. The power of the people is back like never before and the only way to make something of significance is to do it together.
We have he best funny t-shirts on the web with over 2000 to choose from!