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When does Old Enough To Know Better
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I've Done Terrible Things For Money--- Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work T-Shirt
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Can You Not
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I Gotta See The Candy First. Then I Get In The Van. I'm Not Stupid T-Shirt
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I Bet Aliens Ride Past Earth And Lock Their Doors
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I'll Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow
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An Apple A Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough T-Shirt
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Sometimes I Pretend To Be Normal, But It Gets Boring So I Go Back Being Me
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The Older I Get, The More Everyone Can Kiss My Ass
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A Quiet Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quiet Woman Is Usually Mad
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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Admit It... Life Would Be Boring Without Me.
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When I Was A Kid This Is Not What I Expected T-Shirt
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The Fact That There's A Highway To Hell and Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot T-Shirt
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That's A Horrible Idea What Time? T-Shirt
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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Of Course I Live In The Past Have You Seen The Present Lately
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I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am, Killing it! T-Shirt
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My Dog and I Talk Shit About You T-Shirt
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I Try To Be A Nice Person. But My Mouth Doesn't Cooperate
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Sometimes I Have To Tell Myself, It's Just Not Worth The Jail Time
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PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ANNOY THOSE OF US THAT DO
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Easily Distracted By Dogs
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If Nothing Works Do Nothing
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I'm Old but I'm Like Cool Old
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I Can't Believe How Old People My Age Are
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I Love My Country, Just Not A Lot Of The People In It T-Shirt
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There Are 3 Kinds Of People In This World Those Who Are Good At Math And Those Who Aren't T-Shirt
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Don't Grow Up, It's A Trap! T-Shirt
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I'm Not Sick I'm Twisted Sick Makes It Sound Like There's A Cure
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I Have Some Terrible Ideas If You Need Any
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You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident" T-Shirt
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Go Ahead, Make A Plan, I Dare You -Life
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Best Uncle Ever
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I Am Currently Unsupervised I Know It Freaks Me Out Too T-Shirt
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Exercise Makes You Look Better Naked, So Does Alcohol. Your Choice T-Shirt
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Sometimes I Meet People And Feel Sorry For Their Dog
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Down To Party Until About 9PM
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Please Don't Make Me Do Stuff.
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Stupidity Isn't A Crime T-Shirt
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This Is Only A Drill
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My Favorite People Call Me Dad - Cute Dad Shirt
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My Stomach Is Flat The L Is Just Silent
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Surprise Sex Is The Best Thing To Wake Up To. Unless You're In Prison. T-Shirt
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Critical Thinking The Other National Deficit
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Marriage When Dating Goes To Far
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Not Responsible for Facial Expressions T-Shirt
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I Thought Growing Older Would Take Longer
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