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I Gotta See The Candy First. Then I Get In The Van. I'm Not Stupid T-Shirt
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I See No Good Reason To Act My Age T-Shirt
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I Am Currently Unsupervised - I Know, It Freaks Me Out Too. But The Possibilities Are Endless!
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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I Hate It When The Voices Go Silent T-Shirt
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I Got Your Back! T-Shirt
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I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There's a difference
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The Fact That There's A Highway To Hell and Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot T-Shirt
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Don't Grow Up, It's A Trap!
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians T-Shirt
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6 Out Of 7 Dwarfs Are Not Happy T-Shirt
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If You Say Gullible Slowly, It Sounds Like Oranges T-Shirts
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If I'm Ever On Life Support Unplug Me Then Plug Me Back In See If That Works
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Admit It... Life Would Be Boring Without Me.
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Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered
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You Know That Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps You From Saying Things You Shouldn't? Yeah, I Don't Have One Of Those. T-Shirt
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If You Don't Want A Sarcastic Answer, Don't Ask A Stupid Question
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I've Done Terrible Things For Money Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work
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I May Be Old, But I Got To See All The Cool Bands
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I Paused My Game To Be Here T-Shirt
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That's A Horrible Idea What Time? T-Shirt
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I Didn't Mean to Push Your Buttons, I Was Just Looking For Mute!
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Try Saying "Do I Smell Popcorn" After You Fart, So Everybody Takes A Deep Breath.
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I Ate Some Pi ...And It Was Delicious! T-Shirt
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Some Days, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Restraints
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Surprise Sex Is The Best Thing To Wake Up To. Unless You're In Prison
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How To Pick Up Chicks
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A Salt With A Deadly Weapon
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You Look Really Stupid With Your Head Like That
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Be Careful When You Follow The Masses. Sometimes The "M" Is Silent
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Of Course I Talk To Myself Sometimes I Need Expert Advice
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.
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Senior Citizen Texting Codes
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Holy Crap! Larry, Is That You
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My Dog Thinks I'm Cool
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If History Repeats Itself I Am So Getting A Dinosaur
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An Apple A Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough
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My Stomach Is Flat The L Is Just Silent
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You People Must Be Exhausted From Watching Me Do Everything
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When does Old Enough To Know Better
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You Say I'm Crazy I Call It Mentally Unrestricted T-Shirt
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I Am An Enganeer Engeneer Enginear I'm Good With Math T-Shirt
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When I Was A Kid This Is Not What I Expected T-Shirt
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People Should Seriously Stop Expecting Normal From Me We All Know It's Never... T-Shirts
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Hi, I Don't Care. Thanks.
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound T-Shirt
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I Prefer Not To Think Before Speaking I like Behing Surprised
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Almost Every Hand You've Ever Shaken Has Had A D*ck In It
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