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Here I Am, Now What Are Your Other 2 Wishes
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I'm Trying To Give Up Sexual Innuendos, But It's Hard...So Hard
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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses A Nut
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Social Distancing Champion
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The Voices In My Head Have Great Ideas
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I Can't Believe How Old People My Age Are
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You Ever Have One Of Those Days? Fuck: Off, You, Me, Us, It, Everything, This
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Sometimes I Have To Tell Myself, It's Just Not Worth The Jail Time
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I'm Awake Please Respect My Privacy During This Difficult Time
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Cleverly Disguised As An Adult
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Pretty Sure I'm Going To Be One Of The Senior Citzens That Bites Everyone
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I Hate It When I Think Buying Organic Vegetables
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Never Mistake My Silence For Weakness No One Plans A Murder Out Loud
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My Husband's Wife Is Freaking Awesome True Story T-Shirt
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When Nothing Is Going Right Go Fishing T-Shirt
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There's No Award For Stupid, So Stop Competing
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This Is Only A Drill
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The Fact That I'm Legally An Adult Is Hysterical
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When I Grow Up I'd Like To Be A Retired Lottery Winner
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Things Men Know About Women
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When Did I Get So Old
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If I Agree With You We'll Both Be Wrong
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Don't Yell At Your Kids. Lean In And Whisper T-Shirt
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Your Team Sucks T-Shirts
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My Silence Doesn't Mean I Agree With You. It's Just That Your Level Of Ignorance
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I Think My Guardian Angel Drinks
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We Never Really Grow Up We Only Learn How To Act In Public
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I'm Confident My Last Words Will Be, "Are You Fucking Kidding Me?"
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Don't Tell Me What to Do Unless You're Naked
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You're Nuttier Than A Squirrel Turd
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Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
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Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck
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Having A Dirty Mind Makes Ordinary Conversations Much More Interesting
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I'm Running For A Cause I Have to Poop
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Somethings Are Better Left Unsaid
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American Association Against Acronym Abuse
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Whoever Said That Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend Never Owned A Dog
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With A Shirt This Awesome, Who Needs Pants
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Always Remember You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else
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The More People I Meet, The More I Like My Dog
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Growing Old Is Mandatory. Growing Up Is Optional.
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Dear Phone I Am Never Trying To Type Ducking Sincerly Everyone
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D.A.D.D. Dads Against Daughters Dating
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Sometimes I Sit Quietly And Wonder Why I'm Not In A Mental Asylum
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Tell Your Dog I Said Hi
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What Chapter Of Revelations Are We Living In Now?
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I'm Having A No Hair Day
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You Inspire My Inner Serial Killer
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Remember, If You Can't Say Anything Nice Make It Funny
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