Funny T-Shirts
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I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am Killing it!
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Sawdust is Man Glitter
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This Is What An Amazing Dad Looks Like
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Best Dad In The Galaxy
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Best Dad By Par.
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I'd Never knew, I'd be Super Hot Dad
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Best Freakin' Dad Ever
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I Like My Bed More Than Most People
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What Chapter Of Revelations Are We Living In Now?
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Can You Not? New
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Daddy Needs Beer
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I Like Long, Romantic Walks To The Fridge
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World's Okayest Dad
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Call Of Daddy, Fathering Ops
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Zombies Eat Brains You're Safe
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Your Team Sucks
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You're Nuttier Than A Squirrel Turd
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You Say I'm Crazy I Call It Mentally Unrestricted
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You People Must Be Exhausted From Watching Me Do Everything
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You Look Really Stupid With Your Head Like That
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.
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You Know The Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps Saying Things You Shouldn't
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You Inspire My Inner Serial Killer
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You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident"
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You Ever Have One Of Those Days? Fuck: Off, You, Me, Us, It, Everything, This
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You Don't Do Stupid Things While Young You'll Have Nothing To Smile About When Old
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You Couldn't Handle Me Even If I Came With Instructions
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You Can't Scare Me I Have A Daughter
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World's Gayest Sister
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With A Shirt This Awesome, Who Needs Pants
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Why Be Difficult With A Little Effort You Can Be Impossible
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Whoever Said That Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend Never Owned A Dog
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When Nothing Is Going Right Go Fishing
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When I Was A Kid This Is Not What I Expected
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When I Was A Kid No Wait I Still Do That
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When I Grow Up I'd Like To Be A Retired Lottery Winner
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When I Fart You Will Be The Second To Know
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When does Old Enough To Know Better
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When Did I Get So Old
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This Is My Step Ladder
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Due To Personal Reasons I'll Be Drinking Again This Weekend
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Living the dream one nightmare at a time
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There's No Such Thing As Goverment Funded
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I Wonder What My Dog Named ME
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SomeTimes I Look Back On My Life
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My Boss Said I Intimidate Coworkers
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This Generation Is So Angry
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I Run a Tight Shipwreck
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Logic: The Art Of Being Wrong With Confidence
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Equal Rights For Other Does Not Mean
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Sarcasm Its How I Hug
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Revenge Is Beneath Me
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RETIRED don't care don't ask
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Dad Joke Survivor
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I exist to annoy you
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Life Is LIke A Dick
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Yes, I saw The Speed Limit Officer
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I Like to Smile At People
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I Don't Insult People
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This Morning Coffee
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I hate golf nice shot I love golf
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Department of Corrections
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When This Virus Is Over I Still Want Some People To Stay Away From Me
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Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
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I See No Go Reason To Act My Age
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I Gotta See The Candy First. Then I Get In The Van. I'm Not Stupid
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I Am Currently Unsupervised I know, It Freaks Me Out Too But The Possibilities
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I Hate It When The Voices Go Silent
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I'm Going To Go Stand Outside, So If Anyone Asks, I'm Outstanding
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I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There's a difference
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I'm Mom's Favorite
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion? Yeah...Me Neither
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Common Sense Is So Rare These Days, It Should Be Classified As A Super Power
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I Got Your Back
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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Don't Grow Up It's A Trap
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It's OK I'm on 500mgs. of Fukitol
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians
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This Is Not A Drill
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I'd Love To Explain It To You But I Don't Have Any Crayons
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The Fact That There's A Highway To Hell and Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot
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If You Say Gullible Slowly, It Sounds Like Oranges
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If I'm Ever On Life Support Unplug Me Then Plug Me Back In See If That Works
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If You Don't Want A Sarcastic Answer, Don't Ask A Stupid Question
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I May Be Old, But I Got To See All The Cool Bands
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Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered
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