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Reality continues To Ruin My Life
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Yes I'm Evil...But I'ts The Fun Kind Of Evil
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I'm 35% Funny And 75% Bad At Math
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Warning You Can Go Blind From My Pure Awesomeness
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I'm Silently Correcting Your Grammar
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I'd Love To Explain It To You But I Don't Have Any Crayons
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Never Take Advice From Me You'll Only End Up Drunk
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I'm not Anti-Social I'm Anti-Stupid
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And Then Satan Said, Put The Alphabet In Math
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Don't Rush Me I Get Paid By The Hour
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You Can't Scare Me I Have A Daughter
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Yes I Do Have A Beautiful Daughter I Also Have A Gun, A Shovel & An Alibi
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Video Games Ruined My Life Good Thing I Have Three Left
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Roses Are Red. Bacon Is Red. Poems Are Hard. BACON
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You Find It Offensive I Find It Funny. That's Why I'm Happier Than You
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Everyone Makes Fun of the Redneck Until The Zombie Apocalypse
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Never Trust An Atom They Make Up Everything
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians
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Drinking Rum Before Noon Makes You A Pirate, Not An Alcoholic
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Common Sense Is So Rare These Days, It Should Be Classified As A Super Power
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It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Looses A Weiner
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I Look At People Sometimes And Think For Real Thats The Sperm That Won
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I Hate Being Bipolar It's Awesome
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I May Look Calm But In My Head I've Already Killed You 3 Times
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I Am Currently Unsupervised - I Know, It Freaks Me Out Too. But The Possibilities Are Endless!
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Ammo Is Expensive. Do Not Expect A Warning Shot
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Sometimes I Pretend To Be Normal, But It Gets Boring So I Go Back Being Me
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Never Mistake My Silence For Weakness No One Plans A Murder Out Loud
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