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I'm A Leader Not A Follower Unless It's A Dark Place Then Screw It You're Going
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I'm Just Going To Put An Out Of Order Sticker On My Forehead And Call It A Day
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Common Sense Is Not So Common
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It Isn't Going To Lick Itself
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I'm Kind of Surprised I'm Not An Action Figure By Now
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I'm Not A Proctologist But I Do Know An Asshole When I see One
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Dear Life, Would You At Least Start Using Lubricant
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Don't Make Old People Mad. We Don't Like Being Old, So It Doesn't Take Much To P*ss Us Off
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I Like Long, Romantic Walks To The Fridge
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Now If You'll Excuse Me, Tonight's Bad Decision Isn't Going To Make Itself
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I Can Explain It But I Can't Understand It For You
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I Hate It When People Don't Know The Difference Between "Your" And "You're". There So Stupid
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If Nothing Works Do Nothing
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Hot Shower - A Regular Shower, But With Me In It
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Don't Make Me Violate My Probation
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Just Because I Agree With You Doesn't Mean You're Right
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Good Friends Don't Let You Do Stupid Things Alone
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I Can't Go To Hell Satan Has A Restraining Order Against Me
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Don't Take It Personally. I'm Always Like This!
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My Imaginary Friend Thinks You Have Serious Mental Problems
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Fun Fact! I Don't Care
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I Was An Atheist Before I Realized I Was God
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I don't skinny dip i chunky dunk
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I Can't Go To Work Today. The Voices Told Me To Stay Home And Clean The Guns
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Change Is Good You Go First T-Shirt
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If I Sit In Rice Will It Fix Me
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Today Was Good I Put On Pants And Brushed My Teeth
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Alcohol Survival Juice
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I Put The Pro In Procrastinate
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Dear Middle Finger, Thanks For Sticking Up For Me
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Four Of The Five Voices Think You're An Idiot. The Other One Is Deciding Where To Bury You
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Sometimes I Think I Should Try And Be A Better Person….I Just Laugh
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I'm Not Insulting You I'm Describing You
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I Know I'm Not Perfect But I'm So Close It's Scary
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Ask Me About My Ability To Annoy Complete Strangers
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Can I Pet Your Dog? T-Shirt
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I Love Bacon
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Reality continues To Ruin My Life
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I'm Not Immature It's Just That You Started It
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Lazy Is Such An Ugly Word I Prefer Selective Participation
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I Am A Worst Case Scenario
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I Got Out Of Bed For This
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I Have Some Terrible Ideas If You Need Any
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I Like Tacos And Maybe 3 People.
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What Doesn't Kill You, Disappoints Me T-Shirts
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I Thought I Was Wrong But It Turns Out I Was Mistaken
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I Love The Morning Ride T-Shirt
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I Before E Except After C - That's Weird.
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I Would Rather Cuddle, Then Have Sex. If You're Good With Grammar, You'll Get It
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