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I Gotta See The Candy First. Then I Get In The Van. I'm Not Stupid T-Shirt
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I See No Good Reason To Act My Age T-Shirt
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I Am Currently Unsupervised - I Know, It Freaks Me Out Too. But The Possibilities Are Endless!
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Just Pretend I'm Not Here That's What I'm Doing
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People Who Tolerate Me On A Daily Basis... They're The Real Heroes.
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I Told My Wife To Embrace Her Mistakes She Hugged Me
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I Hate It When The Voices Go Silent T-Shirt
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I Got Your Back! T-Shirt
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Don't Grow Up, It's A Trap! T-Shirt
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I'm Mom's Favorite T-Shirt
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I'm not anti-social. I'm selectively social. There's a difference
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The Fact That There's A Highway To Hell and Only A Stairway To Heaven Says A Lot T-Shirt
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I'm Going To Go Stand Outside, So If Anyone Asks, I'm Outstanding
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Well That's Not A Good Sign T-Shirt
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6 Out Of 7 Dwarfs Are Not Happy T-Shirt
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Common Sense Is So Rare These Days, It Should Be Classified As A Super Power
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Remember When I Asked For Your Opinion? Yeah...Me Neither
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Every Day, Thousands Of Innocent Plants Are Killed By Vegetarians T-Shirt
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It's OK I'm on 500mgs. of Fukitol
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This Is Not A Drill
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I'd Love To Explain It To You But I Don't Have Any Crayons T-Shirt
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If You Say Gullible Slowly, It Sounds Like Oranges T-Shirts
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If I'm Ever On Life Support Unplug Me Then Plug Me Back In See If That Works
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I've Done Terrible Things For Money--- Like Waking Up Early To Go To Work T-Shirt
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You Know That Little Thing Inside Your Head That Keeps You From Saying Things You Shouldn't? Yeah, I Don't Have One Of Those. T-Shirt
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Admit It... Life Would Be Boring Without Me.
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That's A Horrible Idea What Time? T-Shirt
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I Didn't Mean to Push Your Buttons, I Was Just Looking For Mute!
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Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups T-Shirt
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You Had Me At "We'll Make It Look Like An Accident" T-Shirt
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Never Forget T-Shirt
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I Never Dreamed That One Day I'd Become A Grumpy Old Man But Here I Am, Killing it! T-Shirt
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Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered
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I May Be Old, But I Got To See All The Cool Bands
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If You Don't Want A Sarcastic Answer, Don't Ask A Stupid Question
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My Favorite Childhood Memory Is My Back Not Hurting T-Shirt
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Some Days, It's Just Not Worth Chewing Through The Restraints
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Surprise Sex Is The Best Thing To Wake Up To. Unless You're In Prison. T-Shirt
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Hate When People Accuse Me Of Lolly Gagging When I'm Quite Clearly Dilly Dallying
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Try Saying "Do I Smell Popcorn" After You Fart, So Everybody Takes A Deep Breath.
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Naughty Nice Tried My Best T-Shirt
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You Read My Shirt...That's Enough Social Interaction
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An Apple A Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough T-Shirt
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I Paused My Game To Be Here T-Shirt
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I Ate Some Pi ...And It Was Delicious! T-Shirt
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A Salt With A Deadly Weapon
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs. T-Shirt
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How To Pick Up Chicks
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