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I Like How When You Read This The Little Voice In Your Head Takes Pauses
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I Try To Be A Nice Person. But My Mouth Doesn't Cooperate
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If Guns Kill People I Guess Pencils Misspell Words, Cars Drive Drunk & Spoons
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Men Have Feelings Too. For Example, Sometimes, We Feel Hungry.
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Stop Staring At My Cock
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You Couldn't Handle Me Even If I Came With Instructions
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I'm Magically Delicious
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Allergic To Stupid People
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Trust Me, You Can Dance. - Alcohol T-Shirt
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I Have CDO. It's Like OCD, But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order
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Trying To Understand Some People, Is Like Trying To Smell the Color 9 T-Shirt
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If We Get Caught You're Deaf And I Don't Speak English
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FEMA Evacuation Plan Run MF Run
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Dear Optimist Pessimist And Realist, While You Guys Were Busy Arguing
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Don't Waste Water Shower Together
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Keep Calm And Don't Forget To Be Awesome
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Not Saying You're stupid. You Have Bad Luck
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Slightly Used But In Good Condition
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I Want You To Know That Someone Out There Cares
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It Wasn't Me
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If You Can Read This Pick Me Up And Put Me Back On The Barstool. Thanks! T-Shirt
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Eff You See Kay Owe Eff Eff
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I Often Worry About The Safety Of My Children T-Shirt
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Aliens Made Me Do It
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I Dare Someone To Kidnap Me. As Soon As The Meds Wear Off They'll Pay Me To Leave.
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It's A Celebration Bitches
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I Can't Wait To Procrastinate
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Ask Me About My Ability To Annoy Complete Strangers
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Refuse To Engage In A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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I Meet Or Exceed Expectations
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Beer The Essential Element T-Shirt
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Sometimes I Wrestle With My Demons Other Times We Just Cuddle
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I Didn't Say You Were Stupid, I Said You Are Stupid
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I Used To Be A People Person
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Name The Triangles
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Common Sense is Like Deodorant
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My Age Is Very Inappropriate For My Behavior
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I Did Not Mean To Offend You, That Was Just A Bonus
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I Don't Like Morning People... Or Mornings... Or People...
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I Intend To Live Forever So Far So Good
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If I Agree With You We'll Both Be Wrong
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If At First You Don't Reload And Try Again T-Shirt
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My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day So I Went Home
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Have You Ever Listened To Someone For A While And Wondered
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In Alcohol's Defense I Have Done Some Pretty Dumb Shit While Completely Sober T-Shirt
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Comma Sutra
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When I Was A Kid This Is Not What I Expected T-Shirt
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Smile It Makes People Wonder What You Are Up To
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That's Too Much Bacon Said No One Ever
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