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My Mom Didn't Raise A Dummy, And If She Did It Was My Sister
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You Can't Tell Me What To Do You're Not My Dog
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Almost Every Hand You've Ever Shaken Has Had A D*ck In It
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That's A Horrible Idea What Time
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Hi, I Don't Care. Thanks.
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Not Saying Kill Stupid People Remove The Warning Labels The Problem Work Itself Out
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I Tried It At Home
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Shhh… No One Cares
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Sawdust is Man Glitter
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Duct Tape. It Can't Fix Stupid, But It Can Muffle The Sound
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An Apple A Day Will Keep Anyone Away If Thrown Hard Enough
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Senior Citizen Texting Codes
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You Can't Tell Me What To Do You're Not My Cat
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In My Defense I Was Left Unsupervised
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Stop You're Under A Rest
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I Did Not Mean To Offend You, That Was Just A Bonus
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Today I Am Going To Give It My Some
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Immortal (So Far)
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Aren't We Taking The Idea That Anyone Can Be President A Little To Far?
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If You Met My Family, You Would Understand
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Drinking Rum Before Noon Makes You A Pirate, Not An Alcoholic
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If You Love Someone Let Them Sleep
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No You're right, Lets Do It The Dumbest Way Possible Because It's Easier For You
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People Should Seriously Stop Expecting Normal From Me We All Know It's Never
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I Found The "I" In Team
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Fart When People Hug You It Makes Them Feel Strong
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I'm Sorry If I Offended You WIth My Common Sense
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It's Really Weird Being The Same Age As Old People
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Another Fine Day Ruined By Responsibility
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I'm Not Lazy, I Just Enjoy Doing Nothing
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I Would Lose Weight But I Hate Losing
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I Have CDO. It's Like OCD, But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order
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Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy Sometime I Let Her Sleep
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You Know What I Like About People? Their Dogs.
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